Life, currently.

Life is rather like this.

Balls to the wall, nose to the grindstone, pedal to the metal; you know the score. See you on the other side.

Friday 13th, Gingerfied. And at least we’re not Courtney Love.

My good friend Kriss and I have a long running joke, where by no matter how shit the day, nor shit the humour, we can email each other and say,  ’at least we’re not Courtney Love’.

For verily, being Courtney Love must be a gigantic pain in the arse. Crazy, drug fueled, angry, paranoid, widowed, child emancipated and all-round bonkers, with a burning desire to throw away all her talent on a life hell-bent of destruction. Exhausting.

No thank you.

Courtney’s latest is quite remarkable.  She actually accused Dave Grohl, former Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighters frontman, of hitting on her daughter Frances Bean. Thus forcing the 19-year-old Frances to wearily come out and say-

“While I’m generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn,”

“I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way, I’m in a monogamous relationship and very happy.”

She added: “Twitter should ban my mother.”

Grohl said Wednesday that “unfortunately, Courtney is on another hateful Twitter rant. These new accusations are upsetting, offensive and absolutely untrue.”

Love, 47, of course said “bulls—,” saying she heard about the incident from “an old friend,” as well as Frances’ roommate.

When told of her daughter’s denial and suggestion she ought to retract she countered with: “

“Dave’s a piece of shit, but he’s a really good drummer. You can quote me on that.”

See, bonkers. My own mother likes to make shit up and create drama where non exists, so Courtney rather fascinates me, much like a black mamba would. It seems there’s no level she won’t happily slither towards ( also she had green eyes, and as far as I can tell through non-scientific means, that equals ‘here be demons’).

So today, on this most gingerest of days, Friday 13th, let us, one and all, rejoice in the knowledge, that no matter what, at least we are not Courtney Love.

Ramen.

Ben Dunne, former coke and prostitute user, in emotional ball-drying shock.

I read the following article this morning and instantly began to splutter coffee in amusement.

“The gym mogul told The Evening Herald that he felt compelled to remove hair dryers on hygiene grounds as he had witnessed several gym users drying their nether regions.

He said “When you see people using a hairdryer on other parts of their bodies and then putting it back, there is no way you can allow that to go on in any business. I will not allow that to go on in my business.”

Aw yes, the creeping horror of watching people use hot air to dry parts of their bodies.

The second part revealed the gym giant could cheerfully dry the sacks of a multitude using his own brand of hot air. Thusly-

“Meanwhile the outspoken businessman also slammed what he views as the removal of Christian religion from Ireland and says he prays everyday during the Angelus. He told Classic Hits FM: “I am disgusted to hear what is being said in parliament in Europe about taking Christianity out of our lives.”

“It’s now got worse and they want us to do away with crucifixes, they want us to deny we are Christians publicly.

He continued “We are a Christian country and there is nobody going to take that out of me or the vast majority of people in this country.”

* guffaws*  Oh the humanity, oh the persecution complex.  Ireland, of course is a republic, and about as Christian as the next a la carte religious order, but that won’t stop a good old rant based on not a whole lot of fact but a truck load of tripe. I’ve yet to read about these scary-sounding councils of denial, where obviously the pious and devout must enter the arena ( oh please let there be greased-up gladiators) and deny their religious leanings. Will there be lions this time round I wonder. Or will the faithful be simply tortured by damp gooches and semi-dry cracks while being forced to wait many hours to avail of the one Smith Machine currently being used by a six-stone lad wearing AberCrombie and Fitch?

Oh the humanity!

Ben Dunne, you’re a shrewd enough businessman, but you’re as mad as a box of badgers.

Best Cat Video of All Time

I swear to you, the Bigger of the Cats could have starred in this video. Only he’d would have  been all…’The fluffy-haired human mocks my entrapment, yet scolds my desire to be free. “Open the door, Lamia in fleece” I cry, pitifully, filled with maw-woe, but still she types….still she types….’

Removal of Catholic Influence in Irish Primary Schools

Article from the Irish Examiner can be found here.

Bullet points-:While transfers are under consideration by bishops, the group appointed last year by Education Minister Ruairi Quinn has gone furthest in its recommendations in relation to schools in areas where new patronage options are unlikely for families.

There are about 1,700 such standalone schools outside urban areas, where the nearest school is about 3km away. In order to make these schools more inclusive to a diversifying population, the group recommends:

* Changes to education law to place responsibility on school boards to uphold the rights of children and parents with regard to denominational religious education and faith formation;

* Consideration to amend equality law that allows a school give preference to children of a particular faith, or refuse enrolment to those who do not belong to the school’s denomination;

* Removal of a rule that refers to religion as the most important subject in the primary school curriculum;

* Schools helping to accommodate children opting out of denominational religious teaching or faith formation;

* Ongoing discussions with parents and clergy about the parish role in sacramental preparation.

“The advisory group recommends that sacramental preparation, or education for religious rites or other belief systems, should not encroach on the time allocated for the general curriculum,” its report says.

The bolded section is mine. I have long wondered when the worm might turn with regards religious teaching in school. Last week’s frankly astounding revelation that many schools are considering dropping subjects like science and foreign languages ought to be the wake-the-hell up call that we no longer have the resources to bolster teaching useless subjects like Irish and Religion.

Before anyone starts giving out to me, yes Irish is our national language and it would be nice if we could all speak it,  but  the majority of us can’t and following the current teaching model, most kids won’t. It’s dull, difficult, rarely used IN Ireland and not used at all outside of the country.  It is a cultural sinkhole. We throw money at it, and it swallows it whole.

Religion, well I’ve no time for religion one way or another, but if there must be class designated to it, why not a single weekly class, discussing world religions. That might be useful.  I’d underpin that with a discussion on ethics and civics and how to be a good person without believing in a deity at all. I’d allow for critical thinking. I would certainly,  CERTAINLY!, stop telling lies to children about farking arks, talking snakes and a 7 day world build.  Creationism rots even adult minds, you’d hardly want to inflict that on the mind of a child. Even listening to the kids on Newstalk this morning, waffling on about a risen Jesus, made my eyes roll clear to the back of my head.  They’re parroting back a story they been drip fed for most of their lives; it’s a truly sad state of affairs.

If parents want their children to be involved in a particular religion let them do so on their own time; Indeed! That would be a true show of faith would it not? They could make it an inclusive activity, send children to a Sunday school, bring them to mass, discus the bible with them, whatever they deem important. Wouldn’t that makes more sense? Wouldn’t that show an interest? Instead of the usual lazy platitudes, why not actively involve themselves in their religion. Wouldn’t that be the most sensible thing?

Anyhoo, t’will be interesting to see how this pans out over the next while. A la carte catholics, of which there are legion in this country, will be sniping and snapping on various forums, David Quinn will be banging his victim drum and property prices will drop another few thousand as we circle the drain. Bon bloody chance mon amis, bon bloody chance.

Child savaged by dog

I see another poor little child has been savaged by a family pet. According to the Times-

“

A Limerick family is keeping a bedside vigil for their two-year- old son, who is in hospital after being attacked by the family dog.

Reece O’Leary was in a serious but stable condition at Cork University Hospital yesterday after the attack in the back yard of his home on Tuesday night.

According to eyewitnesses, the dog, a husky, ripped the boy’s clothes off and threw him into the air several times.

The boy’s mother Mags, his father Ernst and sister Rhiann (5) were at his bedside last night. Locals said they had never seen the dog behave violently before.

Neighbour Jonathan Curtin (21) has been hailed a hero by residents in Carew Park after he beat the dog off with a shovel.

“He was throwing the child up into the air, the child was like a rag doll to the dog,” Mr Curtin said.

“The woman [Reece’s mother] was holding on to the child and the dog was holding on to the child as well. The woman was trying to pull the child and the dog was pulling the child in the opposite way. I went in with the shovel and stopped it.”

Reece was transferred from hospital in Limerick to Cork at 8.30am yesterday. He was being treated for head, back, arm, knee and upper thigh injuries.

Gardaí contacted the Clare ISPCA dog warden Frank Coote. The dog had calmed down by the time he arrived. The dog was brought back to the Limerick dog pound yesterday where it was to be destroyed.”

The Sun naturally as a Suntastic take on it, there is mention of ‘devil’ dogs, and includes the immortal line “The humble hero added: “I had to lock the door. Those dogs are bred for taking down bears*. I went in not really thinking about the danger. I was just trying to get the lad safe.” (*nonsense)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/irishsun/4239647/Family-pet-mauls-toddler-like-a-rag-doll.html

And finally, according to The Star, the dog was an ‘akita husky’ ( of course no such breed exists)

I feel sorry for the poor little child who has been mutilated.  Naturally it’s a horrific story. But I would hope that FOR ONCE in this country, this case opens up a debate on the adequate care and treatment of dogs, and helps prevent this kind of thing happening again.

First off, according to the Clare dog warden, the dog in question was a Malamute and not a husky at all. So, here we have a large working dog, energetic, weighing up to 40k, intelligent, determined and difficult to train. They require an experienced owner, they require a great deal of exercise, they require stimulation and socialisation.

They are not on the restricted breed list. Nor should they be.

 

So here you have a large, young ( one paper says the dog was a Christmas present), with access to a small child. If this dog was unsocialised, or one of those poor unfortunate animals who resides the bulk of his time ‘outside’ in a small garden, well, it’s a recipe for disaster. I’m not saying this has been the case here, but I would like to know what WAS the case here, and what can be learned from it to prevent it happening again.

Dogs are not ‘evil’ or ‘devil’ anything, they are our companions, helpers and pets, but we daily do them a massive disservice in how we treat them. A pack animal, they do not do well left along for large periods of time, cooped up with energy to burn. The ‘fashion’ for wolf- like dogs is something I have noted too, as more and more huskies samoyeds, Mals and long-haired shepherd appear in our parks and streets. Often bought from sites like Donedeal from unscrupulous breeders by people who have no idea how to deal with the amount of dog they are getting for their buck.

I do not blame dogs for behaving like dogs, I DO think we need to scrap the restricted list, and put carefully in place a license/per/animal that is strictly enforced. I think people need to ask themselves honestly and with genuine truth why they want a dog, why they are getting a certain breed of dog and is that dog truly suitable for their family. If people stopped to think about what they were taking on and had to apply for a license for said dog before they got it, they might better ask themselves these questions.

I feel sorry for everyone involved in this situation, and I really hope to not read of any more children being harmed due to negligence

HSE, flu and Private Nursing homes.

I heard an alarming report on the radio yesterday about the deaths over the last two weeks of six vulnerable elderly people in Nazareth House, a private nursing home at Fahan, near Buncrana, Co Donegal. The cause of death was influenza. Eleven of the remaining 39 residents were still being treated for symptoms yesterday and doctors remained concerned about a small number because of their frailty. The last person died on Monday.  The home is run by The Sisters of Nazareth, an order of nuns. It transpires the HSE was not informed of this tragedy until Sunday.

So we have a private nursing home with severely compromised people dying in droves and nothing was done until last-minute. HSE infection control nurses have since been transferred to the home and inspectors from the Health Information and Quality Authority have also arrived.

Influenza is a debilitating and unrelenting illness. People like to say they have flu sometimes when they have a heavy cold– itself an unpleasant experience; but the two are nothing alike. I’ve had flu once in my entire life, indeed Gamma and I contracted it at the same time and even though it was over twenty years ago I have never forgotten how ill it made me. How weak I was, how delirious and fevered. I was a robust child, yet it floored me with the greatest of ease. Gamma, being elderly, took a significetly longer time to recover.

I have not doubt the Sisters are devastated over the deaths of their charges, but it is inconceivable to me that the HSE was not called in immediately when vulnerable people were starting to suffer from this insidious disease. Quarantine, medical expertise,  all might have helped stall this rampant virus and saved some lives. More troubling we also learn that “It also emerged yesterday that a new resident was admitted to the home on Saturday and that the remains of one of the residents, who died of flu, was reposed at home on Thursday.”

How  logical is it that a nursing home admit a patient when all around them their charges are sick and dying from a virus?

I’m not blaming the nuns, this is a tragedy. But vulnerable elderly people deserve to be protected at their end of days.  The HSE needs to be involved with private nursing homes, they must be. There needs to be a code of practice in place, open, understandable and more importantly implemented to the letter.

I feel fierce sorry for those who died and those who are ill and for the families of these elderly victims.  I hope lessons are learned and I really hope this never happens again.

I’m so pretty, oh so pretty, I’m so pretty and witty and…delusional?

Everyone so often the Daily Fail will print an article so ridiculous I guffaw loud enough to wake the Marklar. Stories of ‘percecuted’ Christians who just want to discriminate against members of society are some of my favourites, that crazy black-haired wench with the life complex is another, but then…boy howdy….

Folks, meet Samantha Brick; or don’t meet her, for  should you meet her, the females among you- I naturally include myself- will be filled with impotent jealous rage at her stunning beauty, and the fellows will be over come with desire, want to flee  from their relationships and purchase bottles of bubbly and flowers to woo this gentle Aphrodite.

“Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab in Paris”.

“I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill.”

Aw, ain’t that just adorable? Of course no true goddess could be content with simple male adoration, fie! A pox upon such one-sided flummery! No, a true goddess  must embrace  not just the adulation but also the wailing cries of those forever locked in the shadows of her feminine wiles.

“While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.If you’re a woman reading this, I’d hazard that you’ve already formed your own opinion about me — and it won’t be very flattering. For while many doors have been opened (literally) as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face — and usually by own sex.”

Indeed madam, for how could those semi-formed mutants compare with such a staggering visage such as you. Why it’s clear no woman ever could, that humanity itself might totter and crash should your utter radiance be unleashed. What folly that any mere flesh and blood woman would risk entering your gravitational pull, would she not wither and burn vine with the mere sight of your limp hair and oddly shaped teeth?

I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.”

Fear not madam, tis the chill of the beta and the omega when faced with an alpha of such magnificence.

“So now I’m 41 and probably one of very few women entering her fifth decade welcoming the decline of my looks. I can’t wait for the wrinkles and the grey hair that will help me blend into the background.

Perhaps then the sisterhood will finally stop judging me so harshly on what I look like, and instead accept me for who I am.”

Presumably this will be the case, unless of course your every wrinkle is like a lining of spun gold, every sag and droop reenactments of splendour, who knows madam, perhaps time will be as kind to you as ATE, daughter of Eris! Wouldn’t that be something? No need then of sisterhood, no need them of anything.

 Observe, ATE and her Phthonos, do not stare upon their glory, lest yon eyes marble and fall from their sockets.

Census Schmensus. What a load of old cobblers.

Are you staggered by the census, no? Me neither. What a load of hooey. If you’re too lazy to read all of it, the Journal did a decent enough break down of it.

 

• There are slightly more women than men living in Ireland (98.1 men for every 100 women). The ratio in 2006 was 100.1 men for every 100 women.
• Divorce is up – the number of divorced people in Ireland has increased by 150.3 per cent since 2002.
• 17 per cent of the population was born outside Ireland – that’s an increase of 25 per cent on 2006.
• Half a million people living in Ireland speak a foreign language at home – the most popular were Polish, followed by French, then Lithuanian and German.
• Over half the total population of Ireland lives in Leinster.
• There was an increase of almost a third from 2006 to 2011 in the number of people who denoted themselves as Travellers on the Census. There is, however, a drop in the number of Travellers living in mobile homes.
• Almost 475,000 households were living in rented accommodation. In 2006, it was 300,000.
• The average weekly rent in Ireland dropped by 1 per cent from 2006 to 2011. Yes, 1 whole per cent.
• 70 per cent of rural households use oil to heat their homes; 52 per cent of urban homes use natural gas; 4 out of 5 of all households use some type of fossil fuel to heat their home.
• There were almost 290,000 homes vacant on Census night. That means that 14.5 per cent of all housing stock in Ireland lies empty. Leitrim and Donegal have the highest stock of vacant properties, at 30 and 29 per cent respectively.
• Nearly 28 per cent of Irish people over the age of 65 live alone. Almost 37 per cent of those over 75 live alone and over 44 per cent of those aged 85 and up live alone. Two thirds of all over 65s who live alone are women.
• However, men are living longer – in the over-70 age group, the number of men is growing faster than the number of women.
• The number of single people over the age of 15 has fallen slightly from 43.1 per cent in 2006 to 41.7 per cent in 2011. There are more single people over the age of 15 living in urban areas than in rural areas. (45 per cent versus 36 per cent)
• People are having fewer children – the average number of children per family in 2006 was 1.41; in 2011, it was 1.38.
• Around 1.77 million people said they could speak some Irish (although only 1 in 3 of 10-19 year olds said they could). But only 1.8 per cent of the population over the age of three said they spoke Irish daily, outside of the school curriculum. In Gaeltacht areas, 35 per cent of people spoke Irish daily outside of school (of the population who actually can speak Irish; of the total population in the Gaeltacht, it is 24 per cent).
• There has been an increase of 45 per cent in people saying they have no religion (that’s 269,800 in 2011 vs 186,300 in 2006) – the age group with the biggest proportion to mark this option was in the 25-29 year old age range. There is also a section marked ‘not stated’ which features 72,900 people – that was 70,300 in 2006.
• There were in fact more people identifying themselves as Roman Catholic in 2011 (3.68m in 2006; 3.86m in 2011). Church of Ireland is the next biggest religion – 129,000 people; with Muslims numbering 49,200 (up from 32,600 in 2006). Louth has the highest proportion of Roman Catholics; the Dun Laoghaire/Rathdown area has the lowest.
• Almost 20,000 Irish people returned to Ireland in the 12 months prior to the Census in April 2011.
• Polish people have overtaken UK nationals as the largest non-Irish group living in Ireland.

 

Does anyone buy that 84% of the country is Catholic or that so many ‘fluent’ Irish speakers abound? Pfft.

I’d have more to say on it but ennui and barely-restrained fury are all I have today to keep me going. Not even a naked Carrot Top could lift my spirits.  I don’t want to burn out.

Have a *-* weekend. Do or do not, there is no try.

Lipotrim, Celebrity Slim, replacement meal shakes a few years on, where are we?

Long time readers will know I abhor meal replacement diets as the nonsense they are. Lipotrim is my particular béte noire, but I hate them all in equal measure.

I believe it was way back in 2007 when I first started banging the drum on Lipotrim. I did a few follow-up post over the years, usually had to put up with dog’s abuse as I did so from irate people who accused me of all sorts, declaring themselves outraged that I, a blogger, should cast such a jaundiced eye on a product that was sold in PHARMACIES! What did I know? Was I a PHARMACIST!?

No, but  you don’t have to have a degree in pharmacology  to understand that replacing meals with a shake, and dropping up to 10 pounds a week is not sustainable, healthy nor in any way shape or form does it get to the root of weight gain/loss. At some stage a person needs to stop drinking the shakes and revert to real food, and if you’ve never learned a thing about nutrition or trigger foods or emotional eating or any of the numerous hosts of reasons a person might put on weight, then that person goes back to square one; fatter, poorer, disillusioned and full of self-hatred due to failure, a failure, I might suggest, was inevitable and one where the poor customer is set up to fail from the outset.

Of COURSE pharmacies are going to defend Lipotrim et all:  it’s their business to sell products to make money; that’s it, that’s their sole reason to exist.

Anyway, apropos all this, it gave me no particular pleasure yesterday to catch a segment on the radio talking about what I was talking about in 2007.

Shall we?

Chair of the Irish Heart Foundation, Dr Donal O’Shea, warned the public about “shortcuts” on the road to weight loss: “If we have learnt anything over the last decade in weight management it is that, for most people, slow weight loss is the only way to lose weight successfully and keep it off.”

He welcomed the fact that pharmacists were becoming “more and more active” as health care deliverers – but warned against promoting meal replacement products, saying that by doing so, some pharmacists could be “encouraging a cycle of failure in people attempting to manage their weight”.

He particularly singled out Lipotrim as an example, which he felt pharmacies ought not to be promoting.

He said

In my clinical practice I have seen people with real health problems resulting from very low calorie approaches, such as meal replacement products. I cannot say it enough, quick fixes do not work.

My message to the public is to understand that there is no such thing as a shortcut to weight loss. Weight loss takes time, and the real key to success is to understand and accept this fact.”

Of course some fellow Rory O’Donnell from the pharmacies side was brought forth to give their side, which was pretty poor I felt,

O’Donnell insisted every pharmacist’s “primary concern” was the wellbeing of his or her patients. “It is too flippant to claim that pharmacists are promoting meal replacement products without taking into account the impact on their patients.”

“Pharmacists are ideally placed to advise the public and to provide them with information in finding solutions to obesity. Obesity is a major problem in our society and the pharmacy sector continuously supports and promotes sensible weight loss,”

Naturally, charging 70/80 euros a week for some shakes is all about the ‘patients’. Naturally, watching those same patients fail time and time again on these replacement diets is in their best interests. Naturally, putting up posters and life-size cardboard models of skinny woman with a tape measure around their weight, promoting the next expensive fad diet is all about health and responsible health care promotion.

Naturally, I am skeptical.

Amongst the dog’s abuse I received from irate users of meal-replacement shakes, I suggested that instead of shooting the messenger (me) they ought to pop back a year later and tell us how they were getting on with the various diets, was the weight still off and so forth.  No one took me up on it. The people I did know who tried replacement-meal diets gained back all the weight and then some, for the  reasons I mentioned earlier.

You don’t actually need to be a medically -rained doctor to understand why Lipotrim is the abject failure it is. Sustainable weight loss is not down to one thing, but rather a combination of things. It takes time and mental adjustments, as well physical adjustments to lose weight, and more importantly, keep it off. It’s a life changing process, it’s about good days and bad days, about understanding the fuel we use to run our bodies, it’s about emotion and will and aging and exercise and… well, lots of things. It is certainly not about replacing food with foul-tasting, costly slurm that makes you miserable, tired and with thinning hair.

I would NEVER be cutting to someone who is trying to lose weight, ever. This is not an attack on people but on a faceless industry. As with psychics and all woo-peddlers, I reserve my hatred for the money-grabbing charlatans who prey openly on people at a weak ebb. The diet industry is a billion dollar/euro industry, it did not get that rich by helping people, it needs the repeat business. It is a leech, a pilot fish of misery. Don’t buy into it; let them go to the devil.

Lipotrim. I am STILL against it, in 2012.