Archive for April 12th, 2012

Ben Dunne, former coke and prostitute user, in emotional ball-drying shock.

April 12, 2012

I read the following article this morning and instantly began to splutter coffee in amusement.

“The gym mogul told The Evening Herald that he felt compelled to remove hair dryers on hygiene grounds as he had witnessed several gym users drying their nether regions.

He said “When you see people using a hairdryer on other parts of their bodies and then putting it back, there is no way you can allow that to go on in any business. I will not allow that to go on in my business.”

Aw yes, the creeping horror of watching people use hot air to dry parts of their bodies.

The second part revealed the gym giant could cheerfully dry the sacks of a multitude using his own brand of hot air. Thusly-

“Meanwhile the outspoken businessman also slammed what he views as the removal of Christian religion from Ireland and says he prays everyday during the Angelus. He told Classic Hits FM: “I am disgusted to hear what is being said in parliament in Europe about taking Christianity out of our lives.”

“It’s now got worse and they want us to do away with crucifixes, they want us to deny we are Christians publicly.

He continued “We are a Christian country and there is nobody going to take that out of me or the vast majority of people in this country.”

* guffaws*  Oh the humanity, oh the persecution complex.  Ireland, of course is a republic, and about as Christian as the next a la carte religious order, but that won’t stop a good old rant based on not a whole lot of fact but a truck load of tripe. I’ve yet to read about these scary-sounding councils of denial, where obviously the pious and devout must enter the arena ( oh please let there be greased-up gladiators) and deny their religious leanings. Will there be lions this time round I wonder. Or will the faithful be simply tortured by damp gooches and semi-dry cracks while being forced to wait many hours to avail of the one Smith Machine currently being used by a six-stone lad wearing AberCrombie and Fitch?

Oh the humanity!

Ben Dunne, you’re a shrewd enough businessman, but you’re as mad as a box of badgers.


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